The Importance of Responsible Pet Ownership Throughout a Pet’s Entire Life Cycle

The best days—and one of the worst days

As I was studying to become a pet bereavement counselor, I came across a quotation that really stuck with me: Pets give us the best days of our lives—and one of the worst.

Anyone who has ever deeply loved and lost a pet will likely agree. They day one loses a beloved companion is the worst. It is unspeakably terrible, painful, and sad.

In instances where the owner must make the heartbreaking decision to euthanize a pet, the pain and sadness is only magnified. Euthanasia, the practice of intentionally ending a life in order to relieve suffering and pain, can bring with it myriad difficult emotions.

In honor of Responsible Pet Owners month, I would like to explore the subject of euthanasia— particularly, why it is an integral part of responsible pet ownership—and also to address why the emotional upheaval that can result is unlike any other.  In subsequent articles, I’ll delve a bit deeper into the factors that should be considered in the case of euthanasia, and how to find support.

Responsible Ownership Means Caring for a Pet Throughout the Pet’s Entire Life

In “Guidelines for Responsible Pet Ownership” the American Veterinary Medical Association highlights the importance of caring for a pet throughout his or her life.  Namely, the AVMA maintains that being a responsible owner entails:

Lifelong care of the pet. This means committing to the relationship for your pet's entire life.

Recognizing declines in your pet(s)' quality of life and making decisions in consultation with your veterinarian regarding appropriate end-of-life care (e.g., palliative care, hospice, euthanasia).

Being a responsible owner is about making good, sound decisions for our pets throughout their whole lives, from beginning to end and all points in between. Making conscientious, thoughtful end-of-life decisions are as important as making sure the pet gets proper exercise, nutrition, and training. Remember: you are your pet’s whole world.

Part of being a responsible owner does mean looking out for your pet’s best interests, even—or perhaps especially—as the pet ages.  That means keeping an eye on the pet’s appetite, energy level, enjoyment of activities, and looking for signs of pain, behavior changes, or any other issues that could indicate a decline.  

Pets, like humans, aren’t exempt from aging, so it’s especially important that we’re looking out for these sweet companions we hold so dear. 

Euthanasia: The Good Death?

The word euthanasia, derived from the Greek "eu" which means “goodly or well” and "thanatos", which means “death” which translated to “the good death.” But as anyone who has struggled with the decision or suffered in its aftermath will likely tell you, euthanasia is one of the most difficult decisions a pet owner will ever face. In face, the decision of whether to euthanize may be the most difficult.

For that reason, it’s a topic that few people want to discuss. However, making end of life decisions for our animal companions is part of our ultimate responsibility as pet owners.  Being able to spare a pet suffering, pain, or loss of quality of life is the ultimate mercy—a final act of love we can give to our pet.  

In instances where the pet is in pain, has little to no quality of life, or has a terminal condition that will likely cause great suffering, euthanasia can provide a merciful way to allow the pet to pass peacefully and with dignity.

When faced with the decision to euthanize a pet, keep in mind that euthanasia should be used to put an end to terminal suffering and a negative quality of life.  As hard as it might be, it is critical that we put the pet’s needs before our own needs and make every effort to make a rational decision.  Of course, that is easier said than done, because there are so many emotions involved, and so very much at stake. 

Euthanasia and Guilt

Because of the unique circumstances surrounding each person’s decision regarding euthanasia, including the emotional torment of having to play the angel of death to our pets, guilt is extremely common and likely. The loss of a loved one is painful, but being actively involved in the process, as is the case with euthanasia, adds an additional heartbreaking layer to the pain. Owners who choose euthanasia may feel as if they sentenced their pets to death.  They may also question how they could have avoided the decision, or how they could have treated the pet better during its life.  They may fear they made the decision too soon—or feel they waited too long.  Those concerns—typically the result of an owner’s questioning his/her decision—are usually strongly rooted in guilt.

Those concerns are also normal, and they are temporary.

Guilt is especially common after euthanizing a pet because, even though it is the right decision for the pet, it is almost always traumatic for the owner. Reaching the decision to euthanize involves a psychological nightmare of confusion, fear, worry, and anxiety.  Not surprisingly, owners are rarely, if ever, comfortable with the decision.

Guilt also results because we feel such a profound sense of responsibility for our beloved pets. Euthanasia brings us to a place where we may question what could have been done differently or how we could have prevented such an outcome.  In such an instance, our feelings of responsibility, and a sense that we have failed our pets, can quickly translate to guilt.

We may also conjure up guilt as a response to the unknown, which is prevalent with euthanasia. We may wonder if we did the right thing, if the timing was right, if the animal suffered, and a host of other questions that are unanswerable. When we are unable to find the answers we seek, we may create guilt to fill the void.  Again, though, these feelings are normal—and they are temporary.

Another aspect of euthanasia that creates guilt is that the beloved pet must often have its life terminated by the one person who loves it most.  Additionally, some people are distraught after euthanizing pets because of second guessing:  they feel they euthanized the pet too soon, or waited too long. Either category carries with it immense potential for pain.  Those who feel they euthanized a pet too soon may feel guilt at having cut short the life of their beloved animal.  Persons  who feel they waited too late will certainly feel responsible for creating additional suffering for the pet, and not being able, or willing, to make the compassionate act of final responsibility at the appropriate time. They may also feel that they failed in their ultimate responsibility to the pet. Going into denial about the necessity of euthanasia can cause a horrible tidal wave of guilt and grief in a situation that is already painful.

Finally, guilt following euthanasia is especially common as euthanasia is the ultimate heartbreak we must endure and part of our responsibility as pet owners. 

Understandably, euthanasia can carry with it myriad intense, conflicting, and painful emotions. It’s important to remember that these feelings are normal, and they are all valid. 

A personal story

I understand the tidal wave of emotions that euthanasia can bring all too well, as I had to make that heart wrenching decision for Garcia, my beloved Old English Sheepdog.  I spent months—maybe years—dreading when that day would come, not knowing how I would be able to cope, or go on without this special creature I loved so much.

A good friend of mine told me that I would know when or if the time was right to make that decision.

And I did.

Garcia was on a steady decline, slowly losing the ability to stand on his own or balance once we helped hoist him up. It was clear that the time was drawing near, and as much as I desperately wanted to stop the clock, I knew that my time with Garcia was short.

I woke up on one sunny Monday morning in June and knew that it was time. Garcia’s spirits were still good, but his body was weak, and he was tired. His once-bright eyes were growing dim. I’d begun to wonder if he were trying to stay strong for me. Something told me he was ready.

I called our vet, made the appointment, and prepared Garcia for our last drive. He fell three times as I tried to walk him to the car. 

In the time I drove him to the vet’s office, I told him over and over how much I loved him, I thanked him for being my dog, and told him that he had given me so much more than I ever gave him. I thanked him for all of the lessons he taught, for the thousands of nights he slept right by my side, and for all of our long walks. Garcia changed my life in immeasurable ways—and I told him so. I got to say thank you. I got to say I love you. And I got to say goodbye.

Once I arrived at the vet, we had to have several people help him out of the car, and he fell several more times. He was just too weak to stand anymore.

I was there when Garcia drew his last breath and it was a strangely peaceful moment. Garcia was no longer suffering. And I knew without a doubt that I had made the right decision for Garcia.

In the end, that was all that mattered.